my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
