everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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