just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i love accidental penises.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
