I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
