Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
