when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just had sex bonerless
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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