now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
