Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
