never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
