when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
