ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize