Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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