yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
