Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
