I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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