i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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