grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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