No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
