I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
