She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
