all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
