I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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