I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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