he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
