we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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