shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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