I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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