I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
