Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
