dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
