Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
