So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
