Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We need to get me chipped asap
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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