; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
