so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
