I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
