Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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