We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
