OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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