My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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