I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
