I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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