we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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