only if we run a train.
done.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
