I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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