Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just want nice things and good sex
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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