Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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