We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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