You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
