Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
